This point needs to be elaborated, but, we must live as a deist. We must live as though God is disinterested in our fate. Only then can our choice be based on what is right and not on fear of perdition. In our hearts we know what is right and true. Following our heart will show us God's will, but it is our heart that we must follow. Does following our heart exclude God? No, God is our heart as our heart is God, we are made in his image, but we are imperfect, limited beings with infinite aspirations. The paradox of the human condition. Choosing to follow our hearts because we choose it to be the right thing is I suspect, God's intention for us.
Not to follow instuctions, not to avoid perdition, but to be good because we choose to. It's a free will issue. It's late and I've had a tough discussion this evening. Perhaps I'll return to this later.

If you take a long time to find "The One," you will face a number of relationships that will all be puzzles. Many of them will give you pieces to a larger puzzle that is discovering your ability to love. Some will give you nothing.
Lastly, you must know this or suffer. You contribute to every puzzle's problem, and in some way, shape, or form, you are part of the puzzle. The most critical thing to realize is that sometimes your only contribution to the puzzle is your presence, and the only solution to the puzzle is your departure. therefore, you must know when to say goodbye.
Failing to say goodbye is choosing to suffer the consequences of derailing each other's destiny, and postponing your own fate and happiness.