Not sure where I am at the moment. It's time to jump start my writing,... again...
Some good stuff has been piling up. One is almost finished. I was hoping to complete another, but.....
it's strange you know, something had to change before I could go back to it, and I doubt that it will. Such a shame because that one had a child's simplicity to it. It may have been cheesy I don't know. I liked it. She did too, so it couldn't have been bad. Save the political stuff for the other venues, this one should be mine. A place to write and mewl and whine and sort things. The sorting place.

Out of darkness comes the light. A post a year for five years and still in the same rut, still staring at the same wall waiting to scale it......
And then you realize there is no wall...
I have a test to take and another day tomorrow.
Is this the last new day. I wanted to make the world a better place. Didn't want to write about the terrible elements of human nature until I realized I could write about the costs and have a balance. Five years later, the last new day, It's me, another dog, and my son on the phone, and an ex who can't tell me where she's really going with herself or her need for affirmation. She had a health scare and needed to go in for some tests. I rode with her to the tests. And it was friends both ways, but the old pathology remains. She is healthy and on the road to healing herself emotionally as well, but too often, she confuses her need to heal herself with her need for payback, and it's rarely volitional. Her father, her ex-husband, her son's father, or me, we are merely players and any one will do, and I suspect have done. John Mayer had it right with the daughter song.
Never trust someone who will lie to you when they know they are lying, their thoughts and motivations are not their own, but belong to their need for unfinished long ago business so forgotten it can take years to percieve and a maturity to truly heal. They will lie to you when they don't know they are lying and the most terrible part of themself, the most injured, the most sad is what drives these lies. Part of me (the broken part I suspect) hates to see that one go...., but once you are part of another's pathology, I don't know if it's possible for them to know you any other way or I them. If you truly are to heal, truly wish them to heal, truly wish to end the chain of malicious karma, then you must forget. Failing to forget is baggage. I don't know, I just don't know but suspect that this is universally true as well.
Enough of that, I have places to go this evening, and another horizon that appears endless.