another not so bad day. More chugging along in the right direction. Can a day be called good when it's gratification comes next week, or next month? A good new day, but not a good last one. A day, limiting. Vision ought to be stretched farther. let the devil divide, for small pieces are easier to pilfer than a whole life. No longer great saints and sinners, hell is filling with piddlers and addicts. Don't be damned. Speaking of damnation. We are not blank slates. Perhaps to begin with, but that's not where we are now.. Something happens to us and it carves a little form into our minds. The younger we are the deeper the impression until we are formed from our past and more importantly our reaction to it. Zen erases this, zen is the beginning again, zen is this without our interpretation, zen is nothing, so to speak. I just noticed the keyboard taps. Does that mean that I'm aiming for that clean perception in every moment, or can I allow some of the core personality drives a little room to run if I can aim them in the right direction. Sounds dangerous, well it is, but risk surrounds everything worth having. Allow myself to feel again. I've forgotten, or never knew what it was to desire someone I was attracted to as well. It's almost that desire and attraction,,.....hmmm analyze that. Sex for all the wrong reasons can be so satiating that it feels like attraction and love. One does not have to displace the other as in the past. Ah here it is, chaotic, fiery relationships that have no hope of succeeding, while emulating intimacy, are a distraction from meeting someone who is capable of actual love and intimacy, and stifle emotional maturity. Banging batshit crazy broads posing as love, and you wake up ten years later next to love's drunken half-sister lust, wondering why you don't feel great about it but just know you need more.
Can love be the cure? Love's cosmic orgasm indeed. If my aim is true, will my heart be?